Struck Oil...

Single...In a Relationship...Engaged...Married...It's Complicated...In an Open Relationship...Widowed...Separated...Divorced...

Great Facebook relationship status options if your status is solid and clear. No confusions.

What about the grey area?

I want options like: Boyfriend/Girlfriend. In an exclusive dating relationship. Secretly dating. Dating exclusively just not calling it boyfriend/girlfriend yet (at least not to his/her face).

Hello Facebook... Where are the other options if "it's complicated" just doesn't cut it?

Why must we label what we have? What's the deal with semantics? You are happily dating, enjoying it for what it is, and then someone, anyone, refers to that person as your boyfriend. To the public you look like boyfriend/girlfriend, but to each other, that title just hasn't come out yet. Is it such a big deal to say "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"? Doesn't it matter more what your relationship stands for rather than what it's called?

What if...just what if...my next relationship is label-free? What if I just don't worry about what it's called. What if, this time around, I take it for what it is. Cherish it every day. Water it, as if it was a garden, and watch it bloom and grow every day.

I don't need to be someones girlfriend. If there is someone in my life, someone special, then I need him to be him and me to be me. For us to be us. To fall in like. To fall in love. And not have to worry about what to call it. Fuck the labels. Fuck the status changes. Fuck semantics. I've struck oil and I'm done digging...that's all that matters.

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

Uncharted Territory...

So I'm sailing in uncharted territory here...

For the first time, the very first time since I have been newly single, I am involved with someone that isn't Facebook related.

Yes, he is my Facebook friend and yes we both occasionally check out what each other is doing on Facebook, but, shocker!, it does not revolve around Facebook. Totally uncharted territory for moi. No Facebook chatting. No back and forth status comments. No relationship status changes. Nada.

Now don't get me wrong, Ms. Emmy Lane still loves her Facebook. I'm still posting, sharing, commenting and being commented on. But I have taken the reins and have held back.

I'm going into this "friendship/potential relationship" without Facebook as our common link.

Maybe that's a good thing?

The one thing I do know...I'm damn fucking happy :)

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

It Was A Year Ago Today...

Last year someone came back in my life and made an impression on my heart.

It was exactly a year ago...

I updated my Facebook status with lyrics to a song. I was in my car...far from home...when I checked my Facebook...and there was a comment from him. He is the boy I grew up with. Went to high school with. Had very limited interaction with. Saw at the high school reunion and did a brief catch up with. He was my Facebook friend...let's call him RJ.

RJ comments on my status. I comment back. He comments once again. I comment back. RJ emails me privately asking what's going on...he can tell something is askew. I tell him I'm getting separated. He's in the same boat. By the end of the day, I learn he lives 3007 miles away from me, but will be visiting our city soon. I propose a group dinner. He proposes a date. I accept.

From that day on...a year ago from today...we talked, Facebooked, chatted, texted, Skyped. He became a part of my life...an important part. By the time he finally came to town we both knew we were in big trouble. This was not just a friendship...this was so much more.

Trips back and forth, thoughts and dreams shared, we did the best we could with distance being our obstacle.

Of course, as they say, all good things come to an end. In time, our relationship ran its course. It ended. Not because we wanted it to, but because, as we all know, a long distance relationship never really works.

So, today, a year later, I reflect on this person. Through laughter and tears, through smiles and frowns, through happiness and sadness, through joy and anger, through frustration and emotions, I am thankful...grateful..for what we had. The love, the support, the friendship will always stay with me.

RJ is what I needed at a time in my life...what we both needed.

Thank you RJ...thank you for making a footprint on my heart that will always remain.

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

Love the Way You Lie...

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

~Eminem & Rihanna

Love the Way You Lie

Girl meets boy. Girl and boy fall hard. Boy's actions speaks louder than his words. Boy picks someone else. Girl walks away with a broken heart.

The broken heart...it's a powerful thing.

It can make one crawl under the sea of covers and never want to get out. It can hit your core and make you look at everything differently. It can make you angry and sad and hurt and mad. It can make one question their own ability to trust. It can make you wonder how someone so smart can let something like this happen. It can make one question everything...the who's, the what's, the where's, the why's, the when's, the how's.

But then one day...one simple morning...you wake up and it doesn't hurt as much anymore. The sun is still shining. The breeze sways the trees right outside your window. A smile creeps across your face and you realize it's time to go back to being yourself.

Life is a bunch of learning experiences and this is just one of them...

Fuck ya...I'm back.

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

My Cup Runneth Over...

The other night I went out with some girlfriends for drinks. All of us are single. One of the women, who I grew up with but am not close to, asked me how it's been since I've been out in the dating world.

In just about a year, I have been involved with several people....have actually had several relationships. This woman couldn't believe it.

"How did you do it? How do you meet these guys?" she asked.

Through Facebook, I tell her. Facebook is my JDate, Match.com and eHarmony all wrapped into one.

My one rule, about anyone I get involved with, is the person must be from my past. It doesn't mean I've had to know them or dated them or had a crush on them at one point in my life. My rule is simple...they have to have gone to my high school.

Simple, isn't it?

Some people will only date Jewish men, while some will only date Democrats. Some will only date men that are over six feet or have a head of hair. I think having gone to my high school is a simple request.

I went to a big high school. A pretty popular one. So popular there is a TV show that centers around a fictitious school that represents it. I won't say where, but let's just say a certain famous zip code is involved. Cue cheesy music...da na na na, da na na na, da da.

Living in the same city your whole life you end up knowing and running into plenty of people from your past. Enter Facebook and my cup runneth over.

Instantly, I know who is single and who is married. Who has kids and who is divorced. How well someone has aged and what career path they took. I don't need to second guess if they are telling the truth because chances are I have a friend, that has a friend, that has a friend that has seen that person around and can tell me if their Facebook picture is recent or twenty years old.

It can also work the other way around. Just the other night I met a hot guy. After five minutes of conversation, I learn he is a graduate from my high school. He was older, which was why I didn't know him before...but he counts. Hot guy + my high school + Facebook = Potential Booty.

Why do I like the high school connection? It's secure to me. It's safe. It's something we both have in common. It's a connection that I have with someone new or someone I once knew. Get it?

I know some people like to forget their high school days and I'm certainly not saying my teen years were the greatest. In fact, many of those years I would like to forget. But perusing that virtual yearbook I like to call Facebook brings out the curious in me. The adventurer in me. The sexy in me. The "I don't care if he was a nerd in high school, he's fucking hot now" attitude in me.

I may be almost 40 and fabulous, but going back to these guys, these men...it's like feeling 18 again...and knowing all the shit you wished you knew then but certainly know now. What a fucking feeling...

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

There's Something About Romeo...

There's something about Facebook...

There's something about friendships on Facebook...

There's something about very special friendships on Facebook...

There's something about my very special Facebook friend...I'll call him Romeo.

I've known Romeo for years. Like many of my friends from my youth, we lost touch, but got back together through Facebook. I admit it...I had my eye on him when he first joined, but it wasn't until the "Status Change" that got me interested. You know what I'm talking about...the status change. Romeo was suddenly single.

What started out as an innocent back and forth "Hey, how are you" turned into something more...all on Facebook.

There's something about chatting on Facebook. The chat is unlike the verbal conversation. It's not face to face...the chat truly takes away all inhibitions. Your fingers do the talking and sometimes they work faster than the brain. Chat is so much more open. More honest. More real and very, very intimate. And when I say intimate, I don't mean sex. There is no sex chat here (been there, done that). It's more intimate than that...it's the intimacy of being true and deep. Chat is what has made my friendship with Romeo like no other I've ever had.

Let me tell you about my Romeo...

He's an incredible guy. A heart of gold. A heart of love. A heart of passion, dedication, ambition and honesty. He is himself with me. No acts. No pretending. No being Mr. Cool Guy. He is Romeo.

We have spent hours upon hours upon hours chatting on Facebook. As the clock ticks we sometimes lose track of time and it's the middle of the night when we finally sign off. He has even been known to fall asleep mid-conversation....which then, I in turn, virtually tuck him in and give him a good night kiss. Of course, we laugh about it in the morning.

In many ways, Romeo is me in a guy. We think alike. We are goofy. We are funny. We are silly. We are creative. We get each other. We type fast. We share. We admit. We have chemistry. We put a smile on each other's faces. We say it like it is. He calls me on my shit and I call him on his. We even have our own language. This is the truest friendship...pure, real, honest and true.

A friendship of love...I love our friendship. This friendship that started on Facebook. I treasure it and hold onto it deeply...so much so, that I keep it private. No one, but us, knows about this friendship. No one would ever get it or understand it. In fact, it's the kind of friendship one hopes for, wishes for, in a lifetime. It's so private that even here I cannot divulge what we share...things that only we would understand. I lock it in my heart and turn the key.

I do see Romeo outside Facebook, but I admit, it's not as often as I'd like. While we chat almost every day...weeks can go by without seeing each other. He is the one that is on my mind all the time. Romeo...a guy I truly love. I mean really love as a friend.

This Romeo guy sounds like a knight in shining armor. I certainly don't mean to put him on a pedestal and he certainly shouldn't be on one (none of us should, in my opinion). Yes, he has his faults (we all do) and he comes with his shit (as we all do). But there's something about Romeo... something. So, you ask and wonder, why not take it to the next step?

I admit it and I have admitted to him...I have a major crush. But is it a Facebook crush or a real life crush? Does he just keep me busy at a time of my life that not much is going on or is this someone that I could share more with. He knows me better than most people do. I have let him in where most people don't go. Doesn't it sound like we are perfect for each other? Is it worth risking a friendship for something more? And can our Facebook intimacy transcend to real life? I think it can...but it's something we both have to want. We can't force a friendship to turn into something else, something more. Know what I mean? You can't put a square peg in a round hole. Our friendship is great the way it is...why make changes...why fix something that ain't broken....but then again...

I wonder...if it's so good on Facebook why can't we make it more...can it be this good in real life? We don't want anything to hurt what we have, yet life is full of chances and risks, right? If something is meant to happen, beyond this incredible Facebook friendship, then it will. And deep down inside of my heart, I think it can and it would be great.

I love my Romeo...my friend...a best friend...someone that has touched my heart, my life, my everything. My angel. My special friend. My Facebook friend...

Like I said...there's something...just something about Romeo.

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

MILF and Cookies...

I'm a MILF and damn proud of it...

I'm a newly single mom who looks a lot younger than my years...so why shouldn't I work it, be a MILF and, of course, have fun?

In a way I feel like I live two lives. The doing the homework, making dinner, tucking into bed kinda mom versus the put on your six inch heels, do pole dancing class, get me a effin' martini, booty calling kinda MILF. The best of both worlds...in my opinion. You don't mix the two, but you embrace both identities to the fullest.

Wanna be me for a day? Two Skype sessions (one purely innocent and one where private parts and playing with those private parts were a must...his parts...not mine), sexay texts from a guy who is interested in me (feelings are not reciprocated), requests for Facebook sex (same guy) and some midnight fun with a "friend". Mix that in with my daily dose of Facebook, picking the kids up from school and dropping them off at their dad's house and I say it was a full day...

I'm the ultimate MILF. No clock ticking (I have my two kids thank you very much). No rush to get married (been there done that for a long ass time). I'm not crazy (unlike most of the other ex wives and women I know) plus I give my guy space...even though deep down inside what I really want to do is spoon all night long (the forking is good too!).

I'm a MILF, a friend to DILF's and having the time of my life.

Warming up the oven to 350...this MILF is taking orders...

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx