It Was A Year Ago Today...

Last year someone came back in my life and made an impression on my heart.

It was exactly a year ago...

I updated my Facebook status with lyrics to a song. I was in my car...far from home...when I checked my Facebook...and there was a comment from him. He is the boy I grew up with. Went to high school with. Had very limited interaction with. Saw at the high school reunion and did a brief catch up with. He was my Facebook friend...let's call him RJ.

RJ comments on my status. I comment back. He comments once again. I comment back. RJ emails me privately asking what's going on...he can tell something is askew. I tell him I'm getting separated. He's in the same boat. By the end of the day, I learn he lives 3007 miles away from me, but will be visiting our city soon. I propose a group dinner. He proposes a date. I accept.

From that day on...a year ago from today...we talked, Facebooked, chatted, texted, Skyped. He became a part of my life...an important part. By the time he finally came to town we both knew we were in big trouble. This was not just a friendship...this was so much more.

Trips back and forth, thoughts and dreams shared, we did the best we could with distance being our obstacle.

Of course, as they say, all good things come to an end. In time, our relationship ran its course. It ended. Not because we wanted it to, but because, as we all know, a long distance relationship never really works.

So, today, a year later, I reflect on this person. Through laughter and tears, through smiles and frowns, through happiness and sadness, through joy and anger, through frustration and emotions, I am thankful...grateful..for what we had. The love, the support, the friendship will always stay with me.

RJ is what I needed at a time in my life...what we both needed.

Thank you RJ...thank you for making a footprint on my heart that will always remain.

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

Love the Way You Lie...

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

~Eminem & Rihanna

Love the Way You Lie

Girl meets boy. Girl and boy fall hard. Boy's actions speaks louder than his words. Boy picks someone else. Girl walks away with a broken heart.

The broken heart...it's a powerful thing.

It can make one crawl under the sea of covers and never want to get out. It can hit your core and make you look at everything differently. It can make you angry and sad and hurt and mad. It can make one question their own ability to trust. It can make you wonder how someone so smart can let something like this happen. It can make one question everything...the who's, the what's, the where's, the why's, the when's, the how's.

But then one day...one simple morning...you wake up and it doesn't hurt as much anymore. The sun is still shining. The breeze sways the trees right outside your window. A smile creeps across your face and you realize it's time to go back to being yourself.

Life is a bunch of learning experiences and this is just one of them...

Fuck ya...I'm back.

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

My Cup Runneth Over...

The other night I went out with some girlfriends for drinks. All of us are single. One of the women, who I grew up with but am not close to, asked me how it's been since I've been out in the dating world.

In just about a year, I have been involved with several people....have actually had several relationships. This woman couldn't believe it.

"How did you do it? How do you meet these guys?" she asked.

Through Facebook, I tell her. Facebook is my JDate, Match.com and eHarmony all wrapped into one.

My one rule, about anyone I get involved with, is the person must be from my past. It doesn't mean I've had to know them or dated them or had a crush on them at one point in my life. My rule is simple...they have to have gone to my high school.

Simple, isn't it?

Some people will only date Jewish men, while some will only date Democrats. Some will only date men that are over six feet or have a head of hair. I think having gone to my high school is a simple request.

I went to a big high school. A pretty popular one. So popular there is a TV show that centers around a fictitious school that represents it. I won't say where, but let's just say a certain famous zip code is involved. Cue cheesy music...da na na na, da na na na, da da.

Living in the same city your whole life you end up knowing and running into plenty of people from your past. Enter Facebook and my cup runneth over.

Instantly, I know who is single and who is married. Who has kids and who is divorced. How well someone has aged and what career path they took. I don't need to second guess if they are telling the truth because chances are I have a friend, that has a friend, that has a friend that has seen that person around and can tell me if their Facebook picture is recent or twenty years old.

It can also work the other way around. Just the other night I met a hot guy. After five minutes of conversation, I learn he is a graduate from my high school. He was older, which was why I didn't know him before...but he counts. Hot guy + my high school + Facebook = Potential Booty.

Why do I like the high school connection? It's secure to me. It's safe. It's something we both have in common. It's a connection that I have with someone new or someone I once knew. Get it?

I know some people like to forget their high school days and I'm certainly not saying my teen years were the greatest. In fact, many of those years I would like to forget. But perusing that virtual yearbook I like to call Facebook brings out the curious in me. The adventurer in me. The sexy in me. The "I don't care if he was a nerd in high school, he's fucking hot now" attitude in me.

I may be almost 40 and fabulous, but going back to these guys, these men...it's like feeling 18 again...and knowing all the shit you wished you knew then but certainly know now. What a fucking feeling...

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

There's Something About Romeo...

There's something about Facebook...

There's something about friendships on Facebook...

There's something about very special friendships on Facebook...

There's something about my very special Facebook friend...I'll call him Romeo.

I've known Romeo for years. Like many of my friends from my youth, we lost touch, but got back together through Facebook. I admit it...I had my eye on him when he first joined, but it wasn't until the "Status Change" that got me interested. You know what I'm talking about...the status change. Romeo was suddenly single.

What started out as an innocent back and forth "Hey, how are you" turned into something more...all on Facebook.

There's something about chatting on Facebook. The chat is unlike the verbal conversation. It's not face to face...the chat truly takes away all inhibitions. Your fingers do the talking and sometimes they work faster than the brain. Chat is so much more open. More honest. More real and very, very intimate. And when I say intimate, I don't mean sex. There is no sex chat here (been there, done that). It's more intimate than that...it's the intimacy of being true and deep. Chat is what has made my friendship with Romeo like no other I've ever had.

Let me tell you about my Romeo...

He's an incredible guy. A heart of gold. A heart of love. A heart of passion, dedication, ambition and honesty. He is himself with me. No acts. No pretending. No being Mr. Cool Guy. He is Romeo.

We have spent hours upon hours upon hours chatting on Facebook. As the clock ticks we sometimes lose track of time and it's the middle of the night when we finally sign off. He has even been known to fall asleep mid-conversation....which then, I in turn, virtually tuck him in and give him a good night kiss. Of course, we laugh about it in the morning.

In many ways, Romeo is me in a guy. We think alike. We are goofy. We are funny. We are silly. We are creative. We get each other. We type fast. We share. We admit. We have chemistry. We put a smile on each other's faces. We say it like it is. He calls me on my shit and I call him on his. We even have our own language. This is the truest friendship...pure, real, honest and true.

A friendship of love...I love our friendship. This friendship that started on Facebook. I treasure it and hold onto it deeply...so much so, that I keep it private. No one, but us, knows about this friendship. No one would ever get it or understand it. In fact, it's the kind of friendship one hopes for, wishes for, in a lifetime. It's so private that even here I cannot divulge what we share...things that only we would understand. I lock it in my heart and turn the key.

I do see Romeo outside Facebook, but I admit, it's not as often as I'd like. While we chat almost every day...weeks can go by without seeing each other. He is the one that is on my mind all the time. Romeo...a guy I truly love. I mean really love as a friend.

This Romeo guy sounds like a knight in shining armor. I certainly don't mean to put him on a pedestal and he certainly shouldn't be on one (none of us should, in my opinion). Yes, he has his faults (we all do) and he comes with his shit (as we all do). But there's something about Romeo... something. So, you ask and wonder, why not take it to the next step?

I admit it and I have admitted to him...I have a major crush. But is it a Facebook crush or a real life crush? Does he just keep me busy at a time of my life that not much is going on or is this someone that I could share more with. He knows me better than most people do. I have let him in where most people don't go. Doesn't it sound like we are perfect for each other? Is it worth risking a friendship for something more? And can our Facebook intimacy transcend to real life? I think it can...but it's something we both have to want. We can't force a friendship to turn into something else, something more. Know what I mean? You can't put a square peg in a round hole. Our friendship is great the way it is...why make changes...why fix something that ain't broken....but then again...

I wonder...if it's so good on Facebook why can't we make it more...can it be this good in real life? We don't want anything to hurt what we have, yet life is full of chances and risks, right? If something is meant to happen, beyond this incredible Facebook friendship, then it will. And deep down inside of my heart, I think it can and it would be great.

I love my Romeo...my friend...a best friend...someone that has touched my heart, my life, my everything. My angel. My special friend. My Facebook friend...

Like I said...there's something...just something about Romeo.

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

MILF and Cookies...

I'm a MILF and damn proud of it...

I'm a newly single mom who looks a lot younger than my years...so why shouldn't I work it, be a MILF and, of course, have fun?

In a way I feel like I live two lives. The doing the homework, making dinner, tucking into bed kinda mom versus the put on your six inch heels, do pole dancing class, get me a effin' martini, booty calling kinda MILF. The best of both worlds...in my opinion. You don't mix the two, but you embrace both identities to the fullest.

Wanna be me for a day? Two Skype sessions (one purely innocent and one where private parts and playing with those private parts were a must...his parts...not mine), sexay texts from a guy who is interested in me (feelings are not reciprocated), requests for Facebook sex (same guy) and some midnight fun with a "friend". Mix that in with my daily dose of Facebook, picking the kids up from school and dropping them off at their dad's house and I say it was a full day...

I'm the ultimate MILF. No clock ticking (I have my two kids thank you very much). No rush to get married (been there done that for a long ass time). I'm not crazy (unlike most of the other ex wives and women I know) plus I give my guy space...even though deep down inside what I really want to do is spoon all night long (the forking is good too!).

I'm a MILF, a friend to DILF's and having the time of my life.

Warming up the oven to 350...this MILF is taking orders...

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

Snoopy...

To snoop or not to snoop...that is the question of the night.

As the clock inches closer to midnight, I ponder the snoopy question.

Snooping is natural. It's a curiosity. It's learning something you want to know, yet at the same time, knowing whatever you find out, may hurt you. It's like when there's a car accident. We drive by...not wanting to look...but yet we still turn our heads to catch a glimpse. It's in our nature.

So, tonight, I have discovered that my ex husband no longer has his Facebook wall set on private. I am free to snoop. So do I? I'm only human...what do you think. I don't know what I will find, but I actually laughed out loud at some of the things I read. It makes me realize how truly far removed I am from him...even reading the posts from women...it doesn't bother me. He's free to be.

Now, what about the ex boyfriend. Yes, we are Facebook friends...still. We did not block each other from our walls. Should we have? That's up for debate. So, whatever I see (and he sees) is fair game. Do some things hurt? Hell ya. Will I stop checking? Hell no. Snoop city baby.

And then there's the one who's your friend, a good friend, but there definitely is a crush. You go to the wall. Try and figure out who the hot blonde is who's lol'ing here and there. Trying not to read into every little post...but you do. Girl can't help it.

Quick rundown (there will be a pop quiz). Ex husband's walls and posts...laughable and don't give a shit. Ex boyfriend's walls and posts...curious and heart hurts. Crush's wall...analytical and hopeful.

Just call me Snoopy Lane.

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx

Everyone Has a Story...

Everyone has a story...their own Facebook story. I have mine and of course, I have many. Some good, some bad. Some raunchy, some innocent. Some fun, some not so fun. But that's what keeps Facebook interesting, at least to me.

And with each new person I friend, it opens the door to a story. It doesn't have to always be a girl meets (or gets reacquainted with) boy sex story (of course those stories are always lots of fun!), but it can be just a story. Reconnecting with a friend who I have not seen in 25 years. That's a story. Meeting my boyfriend on Facebook. That's a story. Staying up late at night chatting with the person who is becoming your closest friend. That's a story. Getting an invitation to come to Vegas from a married man and then finding out his wife is there as well. Now, that's a story.

One morning I woke up to a message in my Facebook inbox. It was from a guy I knew. Friend from the past, one I had flirted with before, cute, but married with kids. The time of the message: 3:12am. The place: Las Vegas. This guy was inviting me to join him...in Sin City.

For a minute, a quick one, I actually did a little fantasy run in my head. Me...him...hotel... Vegas...what happens there...stays there. But I quickly shut it down. I mean look at the time of the message...3:12am. Drunk message for sure!

I waited a bit, thinking, that when he finally woke up he would realize what he did and send me an apology email. I got nothing. I decide to take the initiative and write him back, laughing off his invitation to a drunken state. And still, I never heard back from him. Was he embarrassed? Mortified? Horny? Divorcing his wife? Who knows?

A few days go by and I see that my "friend" has posted some new pictures on Facebook. Of course, I decide to take a look. Hmmm....this is interesting. These are pictures from Vegas. But wait, there's more. Pictures of him....alone. Pictures of him...and co-workers. Pictures of him...and his WIFE? In Vegas? Together?!? WTF?

Ok, let me get this straight. He's in Vegas. He's with his co-workers. He's with his wife. And he sends me a drunk message on Facebook at 3:12am to come out and meet him? Am I to get my own room or am I supposed to cozy up in bed between he and his wife? Was this an invitation to a threesome or was he going to tell his wife he was hitting the tables, when instead he would be coming to my room to "hit on me"?

I never would have gone, you know. It was fun to entertain the thought for a split second, but I never would have done it. With someone else, yes. With him, not a chance. The funny thing is I never really did find out what the invitation meant or what his intensions were. We chatted once after it happened, but so much time had past, that neither one of us brought it up.

I just chalk it up to being another story...a Facebook story...my one of many.

Simply,

Emmy Lane...xx